Jokes

Kay's Joke Of The Week

Badu, a very handsome young man, recently married to a beautiful young woman, sexy and elegant which had previously been divorced from her 10th husband .
On their wedding night, his wife told him : "My lovely 11th husband...Please, be gentle because I'm still a virgin."
"What?" Badu was confused in a shocking mock. "How can a virgin but had been married ten times?!?"
  "Well, my first husband was a sales representative, he kept telling me how great it would happen."
   "My second husband worked in a computer software services: he was never really sure how it should work, but he said he would look into it and come back to me."
  "My third husband worked as a field support and he said everything was checked and diagnosed, but he could not turn the system on."
"My fourth husband's  job was a telemarketer, even though he knew that he got the order, he did not know when he will be able to give ..."
"My fifth husband was an engineer, he understood the basic process but, he wanted three years of research, a year of implementation, and a better new design."
"My sixth husband derived from the administration: he thought he knew how to do it but, he was not sure if it is a part of his job."
"My seventh husband worked in a marketing company, although he has a product, he was never sure how to position it."
"My eight husband was a psychiatrist, all he did was talk about it."
"My ninth husband was a gynecologist, all he did was look at it."
"My tenth husband was a stamp collector, which he had to do was licking it ... Oh, really ... I miss him!"
"But, now I'm married to you dear Badu, I'm very excited!"
"That's terrific," said Badu, really surprised ... "But why???"
"Because you are a businessman who close to the government ... This time... I knew that I would get a poke!"

  Close As Mobile and its SIM card

A pair of young man and woman are dating:
Girl: "Say, how much you love me?"
Guy: "Of course immense love ..."
Girl: "Like what?"
Guy: "We are so close, it's just like if I was a mobile phone.. then you were its SIM card."
Girl: "Thanks, honey I love you ..."
Guy: (to him self) "Thank God she doesn't know if I was a China Mobile, with three cards ..."
Joke

Senior engineer: "What is facebook?"
Junior engineer: "Oohhh ... it is a social net work, sir ..."
Senior engineer: " How is it look like? Smaller than a net book?"

 If the Animals Got Facebook

If the animals got a Facebook, what kind of status will be? Here are few that were found.
  Poodle Dog: On the way to the salon!
Roaches: I've just survived from the death trample, yeah!
Cow: Again, I was stroking by my master!
Cats: My youngest child asked me about his father. I didn't know just what to say. I can't even remember who my husband are!
Mosquitoes:  HIV positive AIDS, bro!
Chicken: My friends ... If I don't update my stat tomorrow ... That means I'm being fried already ... i luv u all
Squid: ink refills!!.
Pigs: I was maligned spreading the flu. Damn it!

Joke of The Week

At the height of political corruption trial, a prosecutor attacked the witness,
"Is it true," cried he, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out of the window as if he did not hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" prosecutor repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge said, "Sir, please answer the prosecutor's question."
"Oh, sorry," the witness was surprised as he said to the judge, "I think he was talking to you."

Joke of The Week

A gray haired old sea captain was questioning a young naval student. "What steps would you take if a storm suddenly appeared on the board side?"
"I will cast the anchor, sir."
"What would you do if another storm sprung back?"
"I'll throw another anchor, sir."
"But what if the third storm jump to the next?"
"I'll throw another anchor, Captain."
"Wait a minute, son. Where in the world you get all the anchor?"
"From the same place where you get all of the storm, sir." 

Kay's Joke Of The Week

Yesterday, I posed a question on two of my friends:
"Which one would you choose: Being rich or being handsome?"
The first guy said:
"I chose to become rich because the rich can buy me whatever I want. Includes plastic surgery to make me a handsome face".
The second guy replied:
"I chose to be handsome, because since I am a handsome face, I can lure rich women".
I laughed out loud. Spontaneously one of them asked:
"What do you choose?"
Still laughing, I replied:
"I chose to be rich ...!" I was laughing still and did not continue my remarks.
They asked curiously:
"Why?"
I replied:
"Because I'm handsome already!"

Kay's Joke Of The Week

Horne, a smart boy aged 4 years,m in one night without accidentally seeing his parents
being interconnected bodies. With astonishment Horne asked his parents: 

"What are you doing?"
With a shock his father replied blindly: 

"Mom and dad are making a little brother".
Horne nodded and went back to sleep.
The next morning, again the father made ​​shocked by Horne. 

The father watched Horne was stroking his father's motorcycle,
then put his intimate organ into the motorcycle's exhaust hole.
The father yelled and asked: "Horne, what are you doing?".
Without turning toward his father, Horne replied:

"I'm making a little motorcycle !!!".

Kay's Joke Of The Week

At a conference on the human brain, which was attended by people from various professional backgrounds, designed a Standard of Quality on the condition of the human brain. to enable the layman to understand, it was agreed that the unit in U.S. $. After a long debate, obtained the agreement as follows:

1. Medical experts: 1 million U.S. $

Reason: Being able to find a cure for HIV disease

2. Nuclear Experts: 1.1 million U.S. $

Reason: Being able to find energy sources other than petroleum

3.Rocket scientist: 1.2 million U.S. $

Reason: Being able to find a vehicle to go into space

4. Internet Experts: 1.3 million U.S. $

Reason: Being able to find a technology that connects people around the world

5. A lazy unemployment: 5 million U.S. $

Reason: None

Within 15 minutes after the provision was published, more than half the earth's population protested this provision.

30 minutes later, the provision was revised:

A lazy unemployment: 10 million U.S. $

Reason: The condition of the brain is still good and original because it is rarely used.